Saturday, March 17, 2012

BURNT SQUID WILL EMPTY A TRAILER PK.

Couldn't catch any fish and I had this squid bait that was stinking up the cooler. Was about to burn them on the nightly fire when this fellow trailer'n goober happened by
"You ain't gonna burn them squid I hope. I't stink up the whole trailer park...make folks wanna leave."
"Really?"
"Yeah...I done it once and me and the old lady had to go out for supper, then sleep in our doublewide with the windows shut. 'Course our trailer's in a low spot & stink lingers...sometimes for days. Burnt a tire once...."
"Thanks for the tip."
"Listen...you ain't got another beer do you? Old lady won't let drink around the grandchildren & there's three of 'em and its driving me bat shiit."
"Sure. But it ain't beer. It's Miller Lite. Trying to take care of my pancreas."
"How does Miller Lite help?"
"Less sugar. Figure I'll live 15-20 minutes longer."
"Maybe you'll be having a lap dancer during them extra minutes." "I'm gonna burn these squid & see what happens."
I lit the fire and the squid began paying off....the smoke drifting around a 45 foot motor home next door.
"Woooweeee! I told you, didn't I?" The goober says.
"Give me another one of them Miller's will you?"
"Sure, but you gotta linger a bit to help me celebrate the stink."
"I'll be in the doghouse, but it's better than them screaming younguns. Look...here comes the fellow from that big RV & he looks pissed."
"What ta hell you burning, mister?"
"Squid. I'm seventy years old today & in my culture burning squid on your birthday brings good luck."
"Where you from, for Christ's sake?"
" Newfoundland. I'm 1/2 Eskimo."
"J-e-s-u-s! And I drove that gas hog all the way from Akron for this?"
The goober then says, "Hey, you want a Miller Lite? It's good for your pan-crass...Makes you live longer, too." "I'm gonna go get my glass of whiskey. At least you guys are upwind."

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